"What's the big deal about a word?" some people ask. Keep reading and determine for yourself.  Consider using this information to educate others if you feel it worthy.

The word "lifestyle" is often erroneously connected to sexual orientation as a way to demonize gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people.  The words "gay lifestyle," "homosexual lifestyle," or "sexual lifestyle" were first co-opted by anti-gay extremists, and groups self-identifying as the religious right, to describe those individuals whose sexual orientation is unique and different from the majority. Later, gender identity/gender variance became associated with these catch-all terms when transgender people rubbed up against the box of what they consider "natural and normal."

The question you might ask is, "Why?

The key reason is that these terms offered code word associations to indicate that both sexual orientation and gender identity/variance are not inate.  These groups defined it as a "lifestyle" selection, as in the choice of whether to own a bricks and mortar business or an internet business, whether to take up snow skiing or water skiing, whether to remain single or marry.  This point is an important distinction to understand.  If these individuals and groups could "prove" that a "choice" was being made," they could stir people into a frenzy and imply that change is both desirable and possible.  Their control of this framing allowed them to refer to us as "it" or a "thing," separating themselves and others from the fact that we are people with hearts and lives and stories.  It is easy for people to push an "it" or a "thing" away.  It is more difficult to push aside a human.

These groups have managed, through continual long-term use of the terms 'homosexual lifestyle," "gay lifestyle," and "sexual lifestyle" to bestow a subtle form of legitimacy to these terms that disparage and demonize.  With the continued use of these terms being used to imply choice, this "choice" is then used to demonize and deny rights to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons.  (The nature/nurture argument is, in my opinion, the wrong argument, because of its potential to become self defeating, but that's another evolution of understanding.  Click here to read one of my blogs regarding why that argument is not a beneficial one, and what approach can elevate the conversation beyond that sticking point).

The effectiveness in having these code words become synonymous with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons is seen through increased usage by everyday people in society.  These groups and organizations resist referring to sexual orientation or gender identity, because doing so would imply that these are factors in life that are not chosen and are not changeable.  The variations on "lifestyle" are an important distinction that allows them to continue framing the situation and, as I have mentioned, implies that change is both desirable and possible. 

The point is that consistent unchecked linking of "lifestyle" to sexual orientation and gender identity/variance accomplished what these groups wanted. These terms became code for "deviance," suggesting that gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons are somehow diseased or psychologically/emotionally disordered.  The deliberate attempt to penetrate the cultural psyche, implant these triggers, and then connect them to "homosexual lifestyle," "gay lifestyle," and/or "sexual lifestyle" created fear about a community of people who, on the whole, are sensitive, caring and open-hearted.

Until recently, the impact of these trigger words on mainstream society (everyday people, media and even many in our own community) ran stealth.  People paid little attention to the fear and depth of the divide that this terminology created.  Today, this is being exposed on a daily basis, and the nation's leading media style books (which publish guidelines for language and terminology use when reporting on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender lives, issues and stories) are leading the way to reflect this deeper understanding.  In 2005/2006, the Associated Press, the New York Times, and the Washington Post were some of who instituted new guidelines.  Additionally, groups such as PFLAG, HRC, National Gay & Lesbian Task Force, and others continue to do great work in education, support, and outreach in various areas.

It is time for society to do the same.  People who are dedicated to equality and justice for all must discontinue use of these terms, and help destroy the derogatory nature of their association.  This empowers people to begin to look at the lives of individual people...seeing their faces, understanding their hearts, and hearing their stories.  This will make a difference.
 

That the stealth attack worked is evidenced by some people within our own community continuing to use the term "lifestyle" in reference to who they are and to describe their lives. (i.e when people say, "My family doesn't like my lifestyle" without acknowledgment of the misnomer term).  I have heard people within our own community of GLBT persons say, "My family just doesn't like it," or "They won't accept it."  I often ask, "Who is 'it'? Do you mean they don't like you, or they won't accept you?" They often have not realized how they have stepped into the middle of this distancing language.

Website Content ©2010 by Dotti Berry | Dotti@GayIntoStraightAmerica.com