It may be Florida, but it’s been cool in the evening and downright cold at night.  Thankfully, we had our Buddy Heater, which served as a portable fire to keep us warm as we sat outside our trailer enjoying the sound of the surf. 

While Roby was preparing the trailer for sleeping on Sunday evening, an inquisitive man named Avner walked by and noticed the signs on the Suburban.  He approached Dotti and asked what we are doing, saying, “What is this GayIntoStraightAmerica.com?”  Dotti then spent about 30 minutes having a very interesting dialogue with Avner about marriage.  Avner, a Professor of Finance at Cornell University, insisted that we should just say, “To hell with them” to people who don’t agree with us.”  He continued, “What does it matter what others think?”  I replied, “It doesn’t matter what others think about our relationship.  Our love and commitment is intact.  What matters are the rights, privileges and protections that a civil marriage license offers.”  Avner said that we were not affected financially and otherwise by these “missing” 1200 legal rights and protections unless we had lots of money. He continued by asking why we didn’t “fight” for something we could win.  We explained that we aren’t “fighting” and don’t see what we are doing as “a battle to win.”   He asked why we didn’t do something that would make a difference, such as some action regarding the situation in Africa or Iraq.  We explained that our journey is not really about us, or about being GLBT persons and allies.  As we often explain, our journey is beyond all of the labels that separate us, and that indeed, as we are creating authentic connections with each person we encounter, we are making a difference in Africa and Iraq, believing that all of these issues and situations are connected in a deeper sense. 

The bottom line is that Avner is actually supportive of our relationship, and in agreement that we should have the same rights and protections; however, he believes that “marriage” is for heterosexual persons, and that if we want to be united, it should be called something else.  I asked him, “Why?”  He said “Because it is different.”  I asked, “How?”  He said,  “Men and women can have children.”  I asked, “Do you want people who are unable to have children, or people who don’t want children, to then be under the ‘other’ title with us?”  He was perplexed, realizing he had backed himself into a corner.  I said to him, “When only white males had voting rights, they didn’t eventually create “another category” to call “voting rights” when white women, and then people of color (both men and women), finally were able to go to the polls.  Why do the equal protections of  “marriage’ need to be accorded us, but called something else?  Before leaving, he finally said, “I will bring my wife, Sara, to meet you tomorrow.  She agrees with you 110%!”  

Before tucking in for the night on Sunday, we stopped at a Publix.  In the lot, a nice young man name Matt helped direct Roby into a parking spot.  When she got out, Roby and Matt walked up to the entrance of the store together, talking about living in Jupiter, Matt’s family, cars, work, and all of the gay family members Matt has.  When Roby asked, Matt said, “Oh yes, my entire family is very supportive and affirming… it’s wonderful.”

Before we left for the open road, our friend, Loren Dokke spent a weekend with us (the Kick-Off Benefit Concert Weekend).  In the course of conversation, he offered to bring us home anytime we need to do so.  Loren works for Alaska Airlines.  On Monday, we phoned Loren, and made arrangements to fly home Wednesday evening (Jan. 11), hoping that the Washington State Supreme Court would issue a positive ruling in favor of us having the right to obtain a civil marriage license.  However, after speaking with Loren, we spoke with a representative from Equal Rights Washington, who indicated that since the Legislative Session just began, there is some talk that the ruling on marriage may not be till the end of Session, which is in 60 days.  After some thought, we decided not to come home this week.  The truth is nobody really knows what day the ruling will be issued.  We felt, however, after having receiving the feedback from ERW, that we should wait and hope that we will be able to come home when the ruling is issued.  You may be interested to know that Dotti did get down on one knee on the beach today and asked Roby to marry her… AGAIN. J  Hey, who said one couple can’t have three weddings? J 

One thing we discovered on Monday is that if we park the rig at the beach where people walk by, we have an automatic line of people waiting/wanting to talk!  You won’t believe the day we had, but here’s the story!  Each conversation led to discovering more about each person and a natural sharing of our journey.  We felt like we had won the lottery, richly embraced and blessed by the connections we made, as we passed out our GISA business cards and offered rainbow wristbands. We even discussed the possibility of always traveling with signs on our car!  Hey, a lifetime journey of creating authentic connections is a dream come true.

As we tumbled out of bed and opened the door of the Scotty to a beautiful view of the Atlantic Ocean, two people stopped.  Carol and Dennis excitedly asked us if we were from Washington (seeing our license plate).  We replied, “Yes,” and discovered that they had moved from Bellvue, Washington.  They thought our journey was amazing.

Barbara and Doralee approached us next.  They stopped and began talking to us after thy saw our signs.  After a few minutes, Barbara shared that she has a gay son in Tampa, and how she feels that education is the key to people’s understanding.  Doralee is an ally as well, and both nodded in agreement as we shared  about our journey.

As we were finishing our conversation with Barbara and Doralee, Avner approached, introducing Sara to us.  As we talked, they mentioned that they have friends, a male couple, who had been together for 20+ years when they met them.  One was a priest who left the priesthood, and they have now been together an additional 20+ years.   This former priest and his partner recently had a civil union in Vermont so that they could have the financial protections (the very thing that Avner said didn’t affect us the evening I first met him).   As they told us about this couple, I began to understand why Avner was so “in favor” of rights and protections for us, while simultaneously wanting our unions to have a different name.  The priest says that “marriage” is for heterosexual couples. The four of us stood talking as the surf rolled in, talking about life and our faith.  Avner and Sara are Jewish, and split their time between Florida, New York and France.  They have become involved in the synagogue in Florida more as a way of connecting with people who are Jewish, saying that in Israel, being Jewish is both a cultural and religious connection.  That led to a discussion of the potential changes Sharone’s health could create.

Esther & Jennie then dropped by.  A Chocolate Standard Poodle, Cocoa, was immediately noticed by Rylee, until Dan, walking his Westie, stopped by for a talk.  That led into discussions about transgender persons, with him acknowledging that many people are afraid when people see so “different” until they get to know them.

Ty Lund & Barbara Carpenter came along next, walking Barb’s toy poodle.  They were so interested in what we are doing and Ty gave us her phone number and offered an invitation to get together next time we are in town.

Later on the beach, we had the honor of meeting and chatting with Jennifer, Scotty & their Yellow Lab, Sol.  Jennifer and Scotty are non-hearing people, who read lips impeccably, and who are able to speak audibly some, even though they cannot hear the sounds.  They were so patient as Roby tried her best to sign with them with what limited ASL she knows… in fact, it’s barely more than the alphabet, but we think Jennifer and Scotty appreciated her efforts.  Roby told them that we are married, and that we are traveling around the USA.  We then gave them our card and Jennifer said, “GayIntoStraightAmerica.com… What is that?”  Roby said with her fingers, “Educating people.”  Jennifer got it.  

Scotty & Jennifer watch Sol and Rylee run together!

Rylee and some of her new Standard Poodle friends