Rylee with Aunt Rhonda

Not only did Rhonda help us with our "roadcast," she also gave us a card with a generous donation to support our journey.

Rhonda has a unique way of contributing.  She writes "God's money" on some money that she puts aside to give when she feels compelled to do so.  We received some from her...what a gift that was and so heartfelt!

Michael, whose podcasts you can catch at mikeypod.com, gave us our initial BIG support, sending us links about how to podcast, and putting us in touch with the certain websites that are critical to creating successful podcasts.  We met him (via phone) when he recently interviewed us.  Many thanks to Ms. Lucie Blue Tremblay for allowing us to use her music in our “roadcast.”   Check out Lucie’s website.

And last, but not least, one particular boost allowed us to have this opportunity to produce our “roadcasts.” Dotti’s client, Cindy Braunheim, gifted her with the equipment!  Talk about support for our journey.  Once we get back home, our goal is to begin putting the experiences from each of our newsletters into our “roadcast” format.

One person that Donna really wanted us to meet, whose support was instrumental for her when she was in the early stages of learning more about herself, is Dr. Becky.  Being the great hostess that she is, Donna arranged a dinner at a wonderful Italian restaurant, inviting Dr. Becky and several other magnificent transgender women to dinner.   We appreciate the support Dr. Becky offered us that night for our journey. Until you have spent time with some of the transgender community, many people in our society fail to recognize what a true gift they are, and how their unique path of having lived as both male/female or female/male positively impacts our world.  Bottom line is this...if you don’t know any transgender persons, make a dedicated effort to get to know them.  How?  Contact your local transgender support group. Attend a PFLAG meeting, a welcoming and celebratory place for transgender people, as well as others, and a support group for parents and allies.

At the top of Dr. Becky’s website is the following:

Ani Ma’amin
(I Believe)

I believe in the sun
Even when it is not shining
I believe in love
Even when feeling it not.
I believe in God
Even when God is silent.
 
Dr. Becky's website also contained a question that I love from the book, Who Moved Your Cheese?

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

Our answers?  After sharing our feelings, we came up with the following that is important to both of us.

We would love without fear, unattached to past experiences and consequences, or future ones.  We would be completely transparent and open hearted to receiving and giving love without reservation. 

 

Having said that, we are choosing to live life, unafraid of discomfort that  surfaces.  We are intentional in using the discomfort as a healing tool as we maneuver through opportunities to move to the other side of fear and discomfort to embrace love and authentic connection.  We trust that we are capable of giving meaning and flight to our words through actions that support them.  Experiencing love through moving beyond fear is intoxicating in a good way.

Our personal journey during this year has given new meaning to “being unattached to a specific outcome.” It has allowed us to move through discomfort and fears in ways we might never have imagined.  It has offered us an opportunity to realize that it is easy to love our partners (and others) when they are lovable.  It is an entirely new experience to love our partners (and others) when they have hurt us and have done things which are unlovable.

We spoke at the Scottsdale Congregational United Church of Christ.  It is an absolutely AMAZING group of people, with Rev. Katherine Harts serving as senior pastor, and Rev. Larry Bridge, Associate Pastor, while Dr. Eric Elnes, author of The Phoenix Affirmations, is leading the walkers in CrossWalkAmerica.  

Dotti and Roby with Rev. Katherine Harts

On Sunday, September 3, Foundry United Methodist Church, will host CrossWalk America as they arrive at their final destination in Washington D.C. to celebrate the completion of the group’s 2,500 mile walk across the United States to spread the overriding message of Jesus Christ – love of God, love of neighbor and love of self.  One of its core values on their homepage is "authentic inclusiveness of all people, including God's lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (lgbt) community. 

We wish that we were going to be in Scottsdale on September 17 to welcome home the walkers  We spoke with Katherine the next day, and they were absolutely thrilled with the response to our participation in the service by their congregation.  We discussed the possibility in the future of going back and doing some workshops, such as “Attracting Authentic Love,” and “Creating Life through Non-violence.”

The front of Scottsdale Congregational United Church of Christ

In preparation for the service each Sunday, Rev. Katherine Harts and the staff do an incredible partnering to pull together the experience in words, scripture, and music. 

The beginning scripture for the service was Acts 9: 1-19.  Rev. Harts offered the following reflection, which is in line with our journey.

Reflection: (Paul’s conversion or should I say call) We often talk about Paul’s experience as a conversion experience but it was also a prophetic call.  He was transformed from one whose work was to persecute the early Christians to the work of being an apostle to the Gentiles. So here’s another part of this story. As Saul, he matched fear with fear, power with power.  As Paul he found a way of humility and yet courage and boldness.

It is a call, which transformed his inner being and changed his work from an enforcer of the law to one who set others free.  There is hardly a thought in Paul’s writing that is not tied up with his mission. Paul’s prophetic call is a call to transform the world from slavery and bondage to freedom and justice. This is the good news we are to tell people about.  We all have this call. The call for all Christians and ultimately every person is a call to transform the world from slavery and bondage to freedom and justice.  This is our work of transformation. When word and work are returned to their source and origin, then all work is accomplished divinely in God. God has given me the power to change my ways.

In our experience, most of us have had “Saul to Paul” moments in our lives, whether or not we are Christian, or even a person of faith.  This “Saul to Paul” metaphor happens in various ways in each of our lives.  These moments are universal experiences, for they are about transcending who we have been to become more fully who we are.  They are reflective moments where our actions show us clearly who we are not so that we can fully embrace who we are. 

Out front of Scottsdale Congregational United Church of Christ Do you see the shadow of Roby behind "Jesus"?

In our pre-meetings for the service, we decided to share about our open letter to James Dobson, where we spoke about the potential of his “Saul to Paul” moment. Click here for the full letter. The last part of that letter read as follows:

Jesus demonstrated forgiveness. We think that's what He had in mind when He told us to pray for our enemies. It is a transforming experience to pray sincerely for the person who we feel has injured us or wounded our feelings. When we pray for a healed relationship with you, Dr. Dobson, we can then commend you to God's loving care, allowing our anger to be transformed, dissipated, and defused into the greater experience of love. In that moment, we are then inspired to quietly call out "Forgive James Dobson, Father, for he knows not what he does."

In conclusion, Dr. Dobson, we pray that the Spirit of God will open your eyes, your ears, and your heart, so that the truth about us will be revealed to you. We trust that when you have your "Saul to Paul" experience, and God reveals to you a greater understanding, you will then go forth and spread this good news about who we are, promoting love, tolerance and acceptance for all.

We expressed in both our wedding invitation and our ceremony, "We vow to create change in the world through the expression of our love." That is all we have for you, Dr. Dobson... LOVE! This vow continues to offer a wonderful opportunity for us to daily witness the potential of spiritual congruency between what we say and what we do.

If you are/have been/want to be a person of faith, Rev. Harts offered some good insights. Katherine reminded us that we have to “grow up” in our faith.  We have to choose to see God in a different light than our “childhood” God if we are to have an adult relationship. 

We realize that this applies to relationship as well.  We have to grow up.  We have to be willing to use adult emotions and adult responses, rather than childish ones that no longer empower us and make our relationships strong. Rather than running from discomfort, we must learn to embrace the “dis”comfort, in order to leave behind the “dis” and move to the other side of comfort.   This allows us to leave behind “dis”connection and fear based behaviors.  That is a calling for each of us that mimics a “Saul to Paul” conversion.

Looking at Dr. Becky’s website and using that line from Who Moved My Cheese, we added and adapted to create an interactive experience for the congregation.  Standing in groups of three, each person turned to the one next to them and asked the following five questions.  They went around the circle three times, allowing their connection to deepen each time.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
How would you be if you weren’t afraid?
And how would that affect you?
And how would that affect your immediate circle?
How would that affect society?

A 13 year old girl named Miranda Loeber, who was the lay reader for the day, offered incredible insight in her comments.  Roby and I were in her group, and we looked at one another in astonishment as we witnessed her responses. 

In another scripture reading, Matthew 5: 48, reads:

In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives.

Rev. Harts offered another reflection, speaking about the infantile relationship with God in contrast to the grown up concept of co creating with God and  making conscious creative choices.  She called upon us to recognize the source of our creativity and our creative heritage. She reminded us that since we do not own our creativity, then letting go is part of it all.  Letting go is demanded as much of religious institutions as it is of individual believers. (Now, when is the last time you heard a pastor say something like this?) Our lives, she said, are works of art that spiral beauty back into the world, and if we let ourselves, we can become a Wind Changer.  

We then shared experiences and stories from our journey related to using the gift that we are to “become the wind,” allowing us to shift the consciousness of those holding up their finger to test the wind, inquiring as to the direction it is blowing, before being who they are, or having an opinion.

Rev. Harts then asked people to imagine what’s possible when you make the choice to overcome your fears or habitual reactions.( choice vs. not out of reaction, or limiting your life to those things you are not afraid ).  She ended the service by asking people to Make ONE choice.  Write down one positive action can you take to move beyond fear. 

Not only were Rev. Harts and Rev. Larry Bridge (Associate Pastor) engaging, the music was outstanding.  In the first service Larry Loeber, the church pianist, led the way.  In the late service, Sandy Champion tickled the keys, allowing the band to back up her tremendously rich voice. 

After the service, we heard from several in the congregation. We heard from both Mary Loeber (choir director) and Larry Loeber, the parents of Miranda Loeber who we mentioned earlier.  Larry sent us a beautiful note, sharing words from one of his favorite songs, called “Fill the World with Love” It’s from the 1969 musical version of “Goodbye Mr. Chips”. He said, “This song has become a very important message for me to live by, and with. I’m typing out the words for you here ---- of course it loses some impact without the music, but the words are very powerful on their own:”

“In the morning of my life I shall look to the sunrise,
At a moment in my life when the world is new.
And the blessing I shall ask is that God may grant me
To be brave and strong and true,
And to fill the world with love my whole life through.

In the evening of my life I shall look to the sunset,
At a moment in my life when the night is due,
And the question I shall ask only I can answer:
Was I brave, and strong, and true?
Did I fill the world with love my whole life through?”

Thank you, Mary and Larry, for the gift of your words and support.

From Craig Henderson, a member of the church:

Your participation in SCUCC worship this morning was inspiring! And our children, Blair, Greer, and Greta LOVED your dear Rylee Joy! As I promised, when you talked about catching the wind, I kept thinking of a line from my favorite poem by the metaphysical poet, John Donne, "Song": Go and catch a falling star, Get with child a mandrake root, Tell me where all past years are, Or who cleft the Devil's foot. Teach me to hear mermaids singing, or to keep off envy's stinging, And find what wind serves to advance an honest mind. I think you and Roby are helping us all "find what wind serves to advance an honest mind." Donne thought these things were impossibilities. Your journey tells us that we all must try! Bless you, all three.

 

Rylee and her possee at Scottsdale Congregational United Church of Christ

We participated in both the early and late service at Scottsdale Congregational United Church of Christ.  One of the most unusual things we have ever witnessed happened at the last service.  Communion had just been served, with us having been asked to serve it with the pastors, and Roby was now holding Rylee Joy in her lap on the front pew.  All of a sudden, we saw the two pastors turn and look at one another and sprint back to where the bread was, with each pinching off a piece, and then sprinting to the front pew and serving Rylee Joy communion.  Yes, this was a first for her!

As soon as we finished greeting people after the last service, we headed to Sun City, Arizona, where we spoke at PFLAG.  They kindly had their announcements and support group first so that we would have until 2:30 to arrive to speak.  We barely made it, setting up quickly.  The group, as usual, was engaging with their thoughtful questions.  Thanks John for the invitation to speak! 

Sun City PFLAG

(L-R) Bill Walker & Harvey Mashburn...40 years together!  We met them at Sun City PFLAG.

We noted that we would speak again in this newsletter about other situations where it might be important to transcend gender identity/gender expression and sexual orientation to bridge the divide.

A recent article, The trouble when Jane becomes Jack, continues to show how threatenend, unfortunately, some lesbian women are.  In one part, it says, “There are many people who look at what these young women are doing, and say to themselves, ‘Hey, b